Inevitably when you are sick (with Gastroparesis or any sickness), your time clock becomes completely inverted and screwed up. Then you look like the photo above and lay awake about laying awake. It becomes a viscous cycle and one that is hard to break.
With Gastroparesis it becomes particularly interesting. You know that the best way to feel better is to sleep. You could also say that the best way to feel better is to hibernate and you would be using a better description. You sleep for days and in the process lose days. You have no idea what day it is, what time and you begin to realize why retired people have no idea what day it is. Awhile back I had a good laugh about this with one of my friends who is home on leave with a newborn. We were chatting and neither one of us could figure out what day of the week it was without looking at one of our cell phones. I have become so bad at knowing the day of the week that my boyfriend makes a morning announcement, “Today is Tuesday. It isn’t a holiday and is a work day. You have acupuncture tomorrow not today.”
I’m not sure how much of this is due to Gastroparesis Brain Fog or how much of it is due to insomnia, but either way I become extremely stressed when I can’t get to sleep. Although, I’m not sure it should be called insomnia if it just so happens that you come out of hibernation at night time. Either way, it is hard to lay awake at night and not contemplate Gastroparesis and your day ahead. If you can’t get back to sleep, will you have enough energy to make it through the next day? If you can’t get to sleep, will you become ill again? If you can’t get to sleep, is it Gastroparesis or something else? The list goes on and on. Yet another loop.
However, this morning I am awake. Starting to feel refreshed and getting ready to tackle my day. I’m hoping to not overdo it today and knock out the last bit of this “mini-flair” (if there is such a thing).
~Millie
Adventures with Gastroparesis 