No matter how much you think you have Gastroparesis beat, you never fully do. There will always be a setback that hits you. For me, it always seems to be when there is a large shift in the weather. It is so incredibly frustrating to be on a good path and then something completely out of your control throws a wrench into the whole scheme. It’s in these moments that I hate Gastroparesis the most. It’s in these moments that I struggle to stay positive and keep fighting. It’s in these moments that I have a hard time fending off the depression and self-doubt. Today has been one of those moments.
The weather had a giant shift yesterday which wreaked havoc on me and my Gastroparesis. I have been fatigued and this morning had extremely horrible stomach cramping. I stand by my acupuncture post from yesterday, because even though I faced this setback I noticed that my body is bouncing back faster than it did before the acupuncture treatments. It still doesn’t bounce back as quickly as I would like, but something is better than nothing.
This morning was not only filled with fatigue and severe stomach cramps but was also filled with self-doubt and depression. What is my point in life? Why was I changing my diet, taking supplements, blending my food, getting acupuncture just to remain sick? Why do I always have to get sick? Why don’t more people know about Gastroparesis? Why keep fighting it? Is the blog really helping anyone? Should I keep doing the blog? The list goes on and on and on. These moments are EXTREMELY difficult to pull yourself out of. Once the snowball starts rolling it takes a giant yeti to make it stop.
Somehow, someway I was able to get the snowball to stop. Maybe it’s because I had to force myself out of bed to get some work done.. Maybe it’s because my dog was insistent that I needed all the kisses she could give me. Maybe it’s because I saw an adorable photo of my friend’s baby in a safari hat. Maybe it’s because my amazingly calm and supportive boyfriend was saying all of the right things. Maybe it’s because I know I’m meant to make a difference for the Gastroparesis community. Whatever the reason was, I was able to slowly snap myself out of the funk today. I’m not fully out of it but still slowly getting there. I saw the image for today’s blog & I think it will be my new motto: Chin up buttercup!
Ever since I found the image, I’ve been telling myself this over and over. It seems to be working. I’ve thought of additional ideas that I can do to expand the blog to more than just my daily posting about life with Gastroparesis. I’ve thought of some possible ways to arm others with copies of the Advocacy Binder.
I’m excited about the future and hoping that you will be too. I’m hoping that you will like the changes coming soon to Adventures with Gastroparesis!
Never give up & keep your chin up! We will find a way to make our voices heard, just you wait & see!
Today I am on Cloud Nine! It was a great day for Gastroparesis. As many of you know, today I was meeting with my Congressman about H.R. 842. The meeting was a HUGE success and he is going to cosponsor the bill!!! There wasn’t even a question in his mind that it was what needed to be done.
In preparation for the meeting, I had created an advocacy binder which was extremely well received. The Congressman indicated that the binder was one of the best he has ever seen. He has been in office since the 90s, so I’m sure he has seen a few binders in his day. The complement on the binder meant almost as much as him cosponsoring the bill. I had poured A LOT of time, energy, & money into that binder and the last thing I wanted to have happen was to have it go straight into the trash after my visit.
This whole experience has been amazing and I am putting my thinking cap on as to the best way that I can help others advocate for Gastroparesis. I’m not quite sure if I can afford to print binders for everyone and am VERY OCD about presentation & packaging so I’m not sure about posting it all on-line. It is copyrighted to Adventures with Gastroparesis, so I want to make sure that the production quality remains top notch. Trust me, I WILL find a solution for how to get advocacy binders into the hands of GPers so that we can continue to make our voices heard.
Now it’s time to go celebrate with an acupuncture appointment to pop this bloated stomach of mine!
Let me start out by saying that the photo above is false advertising. No one looks that good in a spin class. Sweat is dripping everywhere. It smells. People are grunting. If there is a pause in the music you hear people sucking wind. People’s bangs are sticking straight in the air because the people can’t handle having them on their forehead anymore and there is enough sweat to spike them straight into the air. Oh wait….that’s just me and I don’t care! I have Gastroparesis and am just happy to be there.
Okay, I’ll fess up. Several people are looking like a hot mess in spin class, but only I have the spiked bangs. I think that I might bring back the 80s headband. As I mentioned, I’m just happy to be there. Today I had A LOT of frustration to get out of my system. Frustration over how so many people are fighting Gastroparesis and in constant pain. Frustration over the lack of treatment options for Gastroparesis. Frustration over the lack of knowledge of Gastroparesis. Extreme frustration about how we receive this diagnosis and then basically told to “live with it” with no end in sight.
All of this was going through my head and the more frustrated I got, the faster I went. I was wishing that if I could pedal fast enough that a cure would magically appear for all of us. It is still absolutely mind boggling how in this day in age we are just left to the wayside to fend for ourselves and frequently treated by the medical profession as if we are a bother.
I know that there are A LOT of GPers struggling right now. My heart breaks when I read some of the posts about how debilitating Gastroparesis can be. About how the medical bills pile up. About how our lives have been ripped away from us and we have to sort out a Plan B. I wish that I could give everyone a big hug. I wish that I could pedal us a cure.
However I do know this. My Gastroparesis is mild compared to most (which in and of itself is mind boggling, because I know how bad I get.) This means I have more energy available to fight for us. A fight that I take extremely seriously. I promise all of the GPers having a bad day that I have so much fight in me that I am on a mission to make Gastroparesis a household name so that one day we can have better lives. Do NOT give up hope (I know this is MUCH easier said than done on some days). We are a strong group of people and we are determined to have our voices heard and make a change!
This entry is dedicated to Kristi Jewel. You are stronger than you know! 🙂