Gastroparesis is a tricky disorder. Not only does it affect your stomach, it also has a profound affect on your brain. As mentioned in previous blogs, I believe a reason for this is due to the malnourishment. However, I suspect that there is something larger going on. My hypothesis is that Gastroparesis also affects the chemicals in your brain. I’m not a medical researcher, I haven’t read anything on this subject, but I know how I felt when I had a concussion, I know how I felt prior to Gastroparesis, and I know what I feel like now. The only logical conclusion that I can come to is that in addition to the malnourishment that there is also a chemical affect.
It also seems in talking to others with Gastroparesis that the brain element is much larger than anyone gives credence to or discusses publicly. It is an area that needs more discussion. This morning has been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I swing between highs of feeling extremely motivated, inspired, and unique original ideas for both my day job and advocacy work. Then the pendulum swings into extreme lows. Lows that are rather dark and only others with Gastroparesis totally understand. When you come out of the darkness, you think to yourself “who was that person?”
The worst instances of the pendulum is when it swings from hour to hour and your brain is literally all over the map. It’s like you are riding a roller coaster and the chemicals in your brain are dictated the course of the car. You have a surge of one chemical and you are flying high. You are happy, you are motivated, you come up with some truly amazing unique work. Then in the snap of the finger the chemical is gone and replaced with another one, you are then in a tunnel underground hoping that soon you will pop out on the other side.
I try to keep my entries light-hearted and show how to remain positive through fighting Gastroparesis. However, I feel it is important to also educate about the dark side of Gastroparesis. When it gets dark, it gets REALLY dark. It is EXTREMELY important to remain positive so that when the darkness hits you can listen to that little voice in the back of your mind that is trying to break through and tell you that you can do it. Without that little voice, it would be hard to come out of the darkness.
Now if I could just get off the roller coaster so that I can ride the antique cars with the GP Elves. It seems like it would be a much smoother ride with time to enjoy the scenery.