Okay, this is what should have been outside of my front door this morning. It was, instead, covered with cobwebs in the back of my brain. I have ever so slowly started coming out of a bad Gastroparesis flair up last week. Nausea, vomiting, etc, etc, elves, etc etc, all the usual fun stuff. However, my brain has been in go go go go go go go mode. This is NOT good when your body says (insert record scratch sound effect) nope, not going to happen (insert either the charlie brown, wah wah wah, sound effect or the Price Is Right “ba dum daaaaah” you lost sound effect). I think those Gastroparesis elves are having a blast following me around this week playing sound effects!
Well, this morning I decided to go to Kettlebell class at the gym. I went bright and early at 6 AM before my body could say…nope not happening. I thought that I could trick my body into letting me get a work out in. (This is were the Proceed with Caution sign would have been helpful!) Things were going well and then like a shot of lightening things started to fade in and out, spin, and that lovely nausea feeling was back. At least my brain was smart enough to say…put the 18 pound kettlebell down and the really great bonus was that my body listened to my brain without much of a delay. (All the GPers reading this understand how long the delay could have been!) I set the kettlebell down, turned and looked at my trainer and then realized just how dizzy I was. She immediately told me to go lay down with my feet elevated. So for the next 15-20 minutes, my workout looked something like the photo below.
And there you have it! The workout that anyone with Gastroparesis can successfully do! Only someone with Gastroparesis would realize that the act of getting to the gym, doing a 15 minute warmup, and then laying with your feet on a chair is technically a successful workout and should be celebrated. In years past, I would have been mortified by laying like this in front of everyone. Now, I could care less. I embrace it with pride because it falls under the category of “it is what it is”. Yes, I might be extremely frustrated that my body can’t keep up, but I am definitely not embarrassed.
The trainer told me to keep laying there until the nausea passed. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I could be laying there until next month! My Gastroparesis acting skills also came in handy as I swallowed some vomit, left the gym, got in my car, popped a Zofran, and came home to enjoy the rest of my day off. A day spent celebrating that I made it to the gym because last year at this time I would have never considered it!