One thing that Gastroparesis has taught me is to do what is right for me. Not to worry about what anyone thinks, not to worry about what anyone is going to whisper, not worry about what someone else would do in my situation, to only worry about what is right for me. Some people might view this as selfishness, but I think that it is having the confidence to stand up and say “This is the right thing for me.”
The fact of the matter is that no one knows what I have been through. Only a small few have seen me laying in a Gastroparesis fog vomiting for days. No one knows what drama and stress does to the body of someone with Gastroparesis (or anyone for that matter). No one knows what it feels like to take an extreme detour in the plans for your life. No one knows what it feels like to not be able to eat solid food for almost a year. No one knows how much you have to spend on supplements and imported medicine. No one knows so how can they possibly attempt to judge you or tell you what decisions you should make.
The sad fact of the matter is that people will judge your decisions and talk about what they would do or not do. However, I challenge all of them to walk 1 month in my shoes from when I was sick and then tell me their opinion. I’m fairly confident that most of them wouldn’t make it 1 month and absolutely wouldn’t make it 2 years.
This is why I say that making the right decision for you is not selfish but a display of confidence. It is confidence in who you are, where you have come from, and where you are headed. It is confidence to know your limits/boundaries and to stay within them. It is confidence to hold your head up high and educate others on the storm you’ve just come out of. It is confidence to do what is right for your so that you can remain healthy and live as normal of a life as you can.
I still have to be extremely cautious of what I eat, but I rejoice every day that it is solid food. I’m so fortunate that I am now having solid food because so many others with Gastroparesis are not to that point.
I’m excited to have resigned from my current position and am starting a new one on Monday. I am hopeful that it will help me continue on the path of healing and keeping my shoes out of the mud pit!
~Millie
I’m sorry to hear that you are leaving your job and I hope the leaving was amicable! I won’t be in town this summer after all.. I have been accepted a paid internship (free housing) in another state for 2 months! I am a little nervous about the GP issues (and I will be without a chiropractor that time, but I’m now down to going only twice a month)… but I know that I can do it and this is a great opportunity!
Good luck on your new job (will you still be full-time)?
It’s amazing how much this relates to my life right now. And it’s also very sad how many people judge you when you’re so sick. They think they know best, or you’re exaggerating, and it comes from people who are supposed to love you the most! I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with this type of stuff. People can be so ignorant.
Yes, it is extremely frustrating to deal with. I don’t know that I will ever get used to it.
~Millie