15 comments on “Moving Past The Sting

  1. I am sorry you are going through this, I think it is something most of us have gone through. In fact, up until last week, not one of my “friends” has initiated a conversation with me in the last 2 yrs. But then again, what do you say when they ask how things are going? Do you tell them the truth that you just spent that last few hours puking your brains out or spent the night in the bathroom? No, you put on a brave face and tell them things are fine. But in the off chance you do feel the need to vent, your considered selfish and seeking attention. You find out who your true friends are. Granted, I do feel selfish, needy, and guilty at times because I am constantly thinking of myself and how I am going to survive the day and to be prepared for whatever comes my way whether it be a puke bag in the pocket or seeking out a bathroom location as soon as I get somewhere, whether or not I attempt to eat solid food, or making a friend drive farther to meet you because you can’t handle the heat and driving. Lost in my own problems and trying not to puke or pass out, I forget that sometimes our friends have problems and needs and I feel guilty because I often times don’t take them into consideration. Even though their problems may seem trivial to us, it may be important to them and I need to learn how to be a better friend. But they also need to be better friends by acknowledging our problems and to be considerate of our needs. That is what friends are for to be there through the good and bad times, and if they can’t, then they were not friends to begin with. When you lose a friend, you feel hurt, angry and frustrated and the closer the friend, the worse you feel. This is the time to be with the friends and family that do understand and can offer the support you need. One thing we don’t need, is more drama. Just hold the ones who do understand a little closer. I am glad you mentioned the heat and driving, if finally dawned on me, that is why I get so sick after a good day. I try to get too much done in one day and this Texas heat is terrible. But if you can’t get stuff done on a good day and you can’t even leave the bathroom on a bad, when do you get stuff done? My hats off to you, I wish I had your strength, will, and mindset. Keep your chin up. Hugs

    • Thanks Bri!
      I think that finding out people’s true colors is the hardest part of GP. It is so saddening at times and you are correct the closer the friend was the harder it is.
      ~Millie

  2. Millie, I have Gastroparesis Really bad! Have had it since 1985 and have actually asked God whatever is in store for me, Please don’t let me suffer anymore!! So, people like your so called friend(s) should Not even enter your mind! You worry about yourself and the ability to get up in the morning!! There’s Noone that knows what We go through until they even spend one day w/this! Those people couldn’t handle it! We fight and we are strong so please DON’T Stress over these people. Move on, many more out there who would want to be your friend! Take care of yourself! And Good Luck w/ all that you are doing to feel some normalcy!!

  3. I really feel you with this one. I wake up and put on makeup to cover the dark circles and broken vessels under my eyes from violently throwing up, but they see a fresh face and think I’m faking it. Or hear about a time I went to a party and think I can’t possibly be so sick because I left the house, but don’t realize I haven’t seen those friends in almost 6 months from my illness. If you get a chance, read my blog Day 73. It’s so much like this it’s not even funny. I’ve been struggling with the exact same thing lately. But know that I’ve been in your shoes, I could borrow your shoes right now and they’d fit! You’re sick, and you’re doing a fantastic job dealing with your situation. I’m 98% positive the people judging wouldn’t even come close to doing as well in our situation. So lets keep our GP heads high and see it as a blessing that we are getting rid of the true disease, the bad seeds in our lives, when they show us their true colors 🙂 ❤

  4. I recently had a situation that made me think of this posting (about being rejected). Perfect timing! I met a person for the first time last week and was telling them about my GP. Of course, they looked at me like I was nuts and actually acted uncomfortable and unresponsive during the 2 hours we had met. I thought that if this was a potential, future friendship that I should be up front and honest. Since I couldn’t eat much (and we were out to lunch to meet), I actually paid for her meal (it wasn’t that expensive) since it has just been her birthday a few days before. I’m usually a generous person and don’t expect anything in return, but I have not heard back from this person for awhile now (if this person had any class they could have at least “thanked” me for treating at lunch, but what do I know?)! I was raised with class and manners. So, again, I am frustrated with how ignorant people can be! When I give so many new people chances, they turn out to be disappointments! I guess I will have to keep my circle of friends “very small” for the time being!
    Hope everyone has a good July 4th with family and friends that matter and care!

  5. I’ve never understood people who run away from others in need, especially those who profess to be your friends. Everyone suffering from GP needs a strong support system to get them through their days. I know it’s hard for people to understand the nature of the illness, but being there for a friend is the same no matter what. So build strong support walls around you, and don’t allow any cracks. Go ahead and vent. It helps. But don’t worry about those cracks. They are formed by those that can’t see beyond themselves, have never suffered, have never lost anything they hold dear. So let them go on their way, and know that you are becoming stronger and more precious every day, and that they will never be anything more than a crack in the wall.

  6. This post was very insightful. I noticed that you wrote this about a month or more ago, but I feel like I am in the same position. Friends that just don’t get it no matter how much you explain, or try to hide. When you are someone that wears everything on your sleeves it’s hard to hide the pain and agony of this disease.

    Thank you for posting this.

    • Thank you! I’m glad that the post was able to help you. 🙂
      I have felt leaps and bounds better since I cut ties with the friends who didn’t get it. It was hard at first but definitely better now.

      ~Millie

  7. Pingback: Flower Blitz – Anomaly Adventures

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