Pacing Yourself

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 12, 2013
Posted in: Energy, Gastroparesis, health, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a comment

keep-calm-and-pace-yourself

Today was a great day!  It is one of those days were the Gastroparesis symptoms were limited and I was able to be quite productive at work.  My brain was on fire and working like it used to.  These types of days are becoming few and far between so I make sure to celebrate them when they come.

As I mentioned in a previous blog (https://adventureswithgastroparesis.com/2013/02/09/firing-on-all-cylinders/), you know that these lucid times are limited.  You hope that they last for days or, if you are really lucky, weeks.  The only thing that you can predict with Gastroparesis is that there is an end to the number of lucid days.  I wrote about this recently, so I don’t want to use today’s blog to repeat the same.  Today I want to focus more on pacing yourself.

It is so easy to shorten the window you have by pushing yourself to fit too many things in before the Gastroparesis alarm goes off.  It is a constant balancing act.  You must balance completing as many things as you can while you are lucid with burning yourself out too early.  This is why you must “keep calm & pace yourself”.

This sounds much easier than it is.  Days like today give you a taste of what your life was like before the cramping, before the vomiting, before the brain fog, before the depression.  It is extremely difficult to not turn a blind eye to Gastroparesis in these moments and pretend that you are “normal”.  However, if you turn a blind eye, you will surely crash and have worse symptoms than you would otherwise.  So even though you are celebrating the day and celebrating a moment of “normalcy” you still have a nagging thought in the back of your mind reminding you to pace yourself.  It tells you that you can’t overdo it.  It tells you that you don’t want to risk having the next flair start earlier than you need to.  It tells you that you don’t want to move off of your eating plan and land yourself in the Emergency Room.

This means that I will celebrate today, but I will listen to the GP voice in my head that says my body is still not ready.  My body still needs to rest and recovery from my two week flair that just ended.  So tonight will involve relaxing with a castor oil pack instead of a turn at the spin bike!

~Millie

Healing Through Glassworking

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 11, 2013
Posted in: Energy, Gastroparesis, Glass Making, health, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a comment

Gastroparesis makes it difficult to continue with many activities that you used to do before becoming ill.  (I’ll talk more about these in future blogs.)  This means that you have to become creative with finding ways to keep your mind occupied and feel productive.  At some point you have to stop hanging out with the GP Elves and stop watching horrible television.

This is why I have enrolled in classes to learn glass flame working.  I have dreamed of learning this skill for years, but never knew where/how to go about learning it.  Part of the glass obsession came from my grandparents.  My grandma would collect all sorts of uniquely shaped and colored hand made glass vases for her sun porch.  My grandpa would buy me all sorts of hand made glass paperweights.  In November, I found that there is a place in my city where I can learn glass flame working so my journey began.

flame-working

The past few weeks have been really rough with a Gastroparesis flair.  All sorts of emotions were running through my head, there was severe nausea, severe vomiting, and horrible brain fog.  It was one of the worst flairs that I have had in a long time.  However, over the past few days I have started to come out of the flair.  I was happy that today I had a glass making class on the schedule.

It felt great to be behind the torch.  It places you in such a state of relaxation.  For me it is a toss-up between glass making and yoga for which is the most relaxing.  The skill of glass making also does not require you to exert much energy which is perfect for Gastroparesis.  It is also a huge mental win, because I feel like I have accomplished something.  I feel like there is something in my life that I can do even when Gastroparesis has me down.

I think it is extremely important for anyone with Gastroparesis to find a hobby that does not require a lot of energy but gives you a huge sense of accomplishment.  It helps you overcome the depression and feelings of helplessness.  It makes you feel as though you are still worthwhile and can do something in the world.

Below are the photos of the glass marble that I had made.  I view this marble as a sign of hope.  A sign of the hope that one day we will find a cure for Gastroparesis.  It is a sign of hope that I will continue on the path of mental healing and learning how to overcome the mental side of Gastroparesis.  I know that there is only so much I can do to improve the physical side, so I have decided to focus on the mental side.

glass3 glass2 glass1

Part of healing mentally, was the creation of this blog.  I created this blog in hopes it would help others know that they are not alone with all of the ups and downs associated with Gastroparesis.  I hoped this blog would help non-GPers gain a better understanding of what a GPer’s daily life is like.  It is a life that turns completely upside down once the flairs become more frequent and common.  The more we can do to educate our family and friends, the more they will know how to support us.  So every time that I will look at my marble, I will know that I am moving towards mentally healing from my life turning completely upside down.

~Millie

Maintaining Friends

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 9, 2013
Posted in: Energy, Friends, Gastroparesis, health, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , . 2 Comments

Dejected businesswoman sitting in chair

Inevitably with Gastroparesis you will go through several periods of feeling completely isolated and cut off from the rest of the world.  Due to society being so centered around food and being out and about, it makes it difficult to always join in with friends.  Sometimes you are barely able to leave your couch, let alone meet up with some friends.  As such, you frequently have to cancel or play things by ear and decide at the last minute if you are well enough to go.

Needless to say, this causes strains on many friendships.  Personally, I have noticed that my friends began to start falling into two categories.  There is the category of friends who try to understand and learn about Gastroparesis, are very flexible when it comes to making plans, and also get creative with the types of activities to do together.  This category also sends notes of encouragement and tries to find small things to get you out of the house on occasion.

The other category of friends don’t understand Gastroparesis but know it can’t be fixed.  Since they can’t “fix” me, they don’t know what to say to me.  The combination of them not being able to understand or fix me causes them to start to distance themselves.  I don’t believe this is a conscious decision, but nevertheless it occurs.

I will say that over the course of the past year with my Gastroparesis flairs becoming more frequent, lasting longer, and hitting harder, I have been both amazed and saddened by humanity.  It is extremely difficult when people start falling into the second bucket.  You want to try to hang on to them, but simply do not have the energy to.  (As mentioned in previous blogs, there is a limited energy supply with Gastroparesis so you have to use your energy wisely.)

Energy is better spent on getting out of the house for a creative meet up with the friends from the first category.  These friends might not talk about Gastroparesis much but you can tell that they have researched it on their own.  They also seem to know that just seeing each other in person from time to time helps give me an energy boost.  They will stop over at the house for a short visit, have me over to theirs, meet for coffee, go to yoga, or just go sit on a bench and chat.  They make you feel as though your life is at least partially what it was like before all of the Gastroparesis flairs.  They wait for me to bring up GP and will gladly talk about it, but also know that there are other subjects out there.

So tonight, I am looking forward to having a couple of friends over to the house to play board games.  I’ve had to abruptly cancel on them several times in the past few months and they have never once complained or been remotely upset.  They would wish me well and then hope for the best next time.  These are the types of friends that are worth expending the limited Gastroparesis energy supply on and I thank my lucky stars that I have a lot of them.

~Millie

Firing On All Cylinders

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 9, 2013
Posted in: Energy, Gastroparesis, health, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , . 1 Comment

cylinders

There are an extremely limited number of days in which someone with Gastroparesis is firing on all cylinders.  When those days come, you make the most of them.  Today was one of those days for me.

Usually a day of pure lucidity and being able to move at a fast pace (both physically & mentally) comes within a few days after a complete and utter meltdown.  There are only so many days in which you can “stay strong” and “put on the happy face”.  Think about the last family gathering or awkward work function that you went to where you put on a smile even though you were miserable.  Think about how taxing it is on you mentally and physically.  Now think about adding to that equation being malnourished and in a significant amount of pain.  This is what the majority of daily life is like for someone with Gastroparesis.  It is not sustainable to keep smiling so as not to have to describe how you feel.  I don’t care how “strong” you are, at some point you just need to break down and allow yourself to fall apart to complete and utter pieces.  It is inevitable that it will happen.  Due to the inevitability, you should allow it to happen when you are in the comfort of your own home and surrounded by someone that truly loves  you.  This was two nights ago for me (hence the missing blog post from that evening.)  In addition to all of the nausea & vomiting that occurred that evening, I also had a complete breakdown.

The morning after the breakdown, I started to feel better.  I could tell that this flair was about to end and that any day now I would have my moment.  My moment of getting back to pre-Gastroparesis life and firing on all cylinders.  The best analogy I can give for this is that of a car’s oil change.  The old grimy dirty oil is dragging down the car’s performance, but once you let out all of that grime and dirt the car starts to perform better.  A Gastroparesis breakdown is the equivalent of draining out all of that old oil.  Once that oil is gone you know you are about to fire on all cylinders.

It is such an amazing feeling to be able to do things at a pace in which you used to, you also know that there is a timer inside your body that will be going off.  It’s a race against time and you have no idea what that time limit is.  You don’t know when, you don’t know where, but you do know the timer will go off and you will crash no matter what steps you take to prevent it.  As such, I make the most of the lucid days.  I work at a fast pace and try to knock out as many important items on my list as fast as I can.  I don’t know how much time I have, so I keep rushing.  I don’t want to lose a moment of this capability.

The other interesting thing that happens when you fire on all cylinders is that once your body is done for the day it just stops.  Literally one minute you are running 100 mph and the next minute you are passed out wherever you are.  You are also so sound asleep that someone could rob your entire house and you would sleep right through it!  You just hope that the period of lucidity is still there the next morning.

As I have mentioned before, if you are not a GPer and reading this blog NEVER take for granted your ability to eat.  It is a true luxury.  We should also add to that list, NEVER take for granted your ability to fire on all cylinders.  These days are few and far between for us GPers, but we sure do make the most of them when it happens!

~Millie

All Day Never Ending Nausea

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 8, 2013
Posted in: Gastroparesis, health. Tagged: , , , . 2 Comments

For anyone with Gastroparesis, there comes a time during a flair when you just need to get out of the house and find some semblance of normalcy.  It doesn’t matter that you have severe nausea, or that you are being stabbed in the gut, or that you don’t have enough energy to shower or wash your hair.  You just need to get out of the house before you get too far into the depression (more on this in future blogs.)  This led me to make the decision to go to work yesterday in spite of severe nausea and the day starting out with several hours imitating the photo below.

nausea

Now most people would never think of going to work after spending the better part of their morning not in the shower but on the floor beside it.  For someone with Gastroparesis, we go to work feeling nauseous 90% of the time.  That is a conservative estimate.  We’re also not talking about some mild nausea that dissipates rather quickly.  We are talking about nausea that is with you all day.  The type of nausea that you know inevitably leads to vomiting.  (And for a GPer, usually when the vomiting starts it takes a long time to stop.)

However, yesterday I just wanted out of the house.  I wanted to try to reclaim part of my life.  I wanted to try to act like I was normal.  I wanted to act like I hadn’t spent the majority of my morning on the bathroom floor.  So I did what most of us GPers do, I went to work and vomited a few times at work.  Fortunately for me, it was only a tiny bit that I could swallow back down which meant no one would know.  You would be surprised at how often this happens.  I have learned to become okay with it and accept it.  My rationale for this is the following:  mother birds chew food and regurgitate it into their babies mouths, so at least I am swallowing my own vomit and not that of a mother bird!  Yes, this rationale is a leap, but there comes a point in time when you just need to find something to make yourself feel better about the realities of your life and the fact that this nausea doesn’t go away.  Not even with prescription anti-nausea medication.

So yesterday I managed to make it through my work day and back home to the safety of my bathroom floor where I closed out the morning just as I had started it, vomiting for a few hours.

If you know someone with Gastroparesis, keep in mind that their morning isn’t spent in the bathroom showering, blowing drying their hair, putting on make-up, planning out the events of their day, what to have for lunch, etc.  It is usually spent vomiting, determining what is the bare minimum of energy that can be expended and still look presentable, figuring out how you are going to pretend not to be nauseous for the day, determining where is the bathroom least likely to have someone hear you vomit in, how long it takes to get to that bathroom with a brisk walk, and who to avoid all day because you flat out look like crap and are embarrassed to have anyone see you as such.

~Millie

Lather Me Up With Some Castor Oil!

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 6, 2013
Posted in: Castor Oil Pack, Digestive Massage, Gastroparesis, Medical Massage. Tagged: , , , . 4 Comments

castor_Oil_massage

One of the best tips I have ever received for Gastroparesis came from a friend of mine who is a medical massage therapist.  She highly recommended (and heckled me) to try a “Digestive Massage”.  My friend lives on the other side of the country so she was unable to be the hands that started me on this journey, but she gave me the long distance nudge.

I thought to myself, “my stomach hurts like heck, why in the world would I want anyone touching it or pushing on it.”  Think about it, you don’t feel well and any at moment you are prone to vomiting so why on earth would someone pushing and prodding your stomach be a good thing?  My friend swore by the benefits of a digestive massage and heckled me until I found an AMAZING medical massage therapist in my neighborhood.

I can now say that after about 5 months of receiving my monthly Digestive Massage, I SWEAR by it & would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone with Gastroparesis (or any other stomach ailment).  The process also involves the use of heated Castor Oil Packs, some essential oils such as basil, a lovely weighted heated pillow, and some reflexology.

The first time I went I was rather nervous about how it would feel.  It started off questionable, because I was not used to anyone touching my stomach (or showing it to the general public for that matter).  Then once we got further into the session I became a believer.  I could feel my stomach muscles starting to loosen from all of the tension that they carry, I could feel the pressure in my bloated belly start to diminish, and I started to relax from all of the worries that Gastroparesis creates.  This has been hands down one of the best decisions of my life.

(I should interject here that I am one of the fortunate GPers.  To date, I have been able to work full time which provides me the financial means to try such endeavors.  There are a significant number of Gastroparesis fighters that are unable to work and as such are on disability.  I think we all know that disability means limited income, which in turn means trying things such as digestive massage is out of the question.)

Now back to the praises of Digestive Massage!  The castor oil packs will have you beginning to feel like you are being basted to be the main course for a holiday dinner!  The process happens as follows:  the massage therapist applies heated castor oil (with essential oils added) to your belly, she rubs it in, then places a towel over your belly, and then adds a heated weighted pillow.  She then heats you at 350 degrees for about 30-60 minutes while she does some reflexology and other tense points.  Once you are done baking, she will remove the pillow and towel and then work the magic of the massage.  She hits various pressure points and just works the heck out of those muscles!  They always feel so loose afterwards & every month I am in just as much shock as I was the first time.

For those of you on a more limited income, you can do the castor oil packs at home.  There are several on-line resources to describe the process.  (If you are lucky, you will find the treasure that is a cheesy circa 1980s instructional video.)  The basic premise of the homemade castor oil packs is the same as the professional massage.  Heat some castor oil, give your self a good sloppy lather, add a towel & then something heated like a heating pad or heated neck pillow, and lastly add pressure through a weighted pillow or a book or whatever you enjoy most.  Wait about 30-60 minutes and then serve yourself up as the main course to a delicious meal!  We can’t enjoy the meal, so we might as well be the main course!

~Millie

**Please note that I am NOT a trained medical professional.  You should always seek advice from a trained medical professional as to your specific medical situation before trying any of my recommendations!

When Your Body Stops You In Your Tracks

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 5, 2013
Posted in: Energy, Gastroparesis, health, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , . 1 Comment

bed

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I am working my way out of a Gastroparesis flair.  However, it seemed to rear its ugly head in full throttle last night and into today.  As such, the majority of my day was spent imitating the photo above (complete with reaching for my tea).

One of the hardest parts of a flair up is that they require you to miss work.  I should mention that I work for a Fortune 500 company that is fast paced, demanding, but fair.  In addition, I have an advanced degree from a prestigious University which adds an extra layer of expectation as to the end result of my work.  My position also affords me the opportunity to interact with senior management.  I have also traditionally been a high achiever and have been in denial about the need to slow down due to Gastroparesis.  (More on this in future blogs.)  That being said, ALL jobs in every walk of life in every background are important and anyone with Gastroparesis goes through the same level of stress when they need to call off due to a flair.

When I need to call off work due to a flair, I go through the following cycle of questions:

Meetings:  What meetings do I have today?  If so, is the meeting with someone that would be beneficial to meet to help with my career growth?  If I have a meeting, can it be rescheduled?  How many times have I rescheduled on this person recently due to being ill?  Will the person understand?  To what level will I need to speak and educate about Gastroparesis?  Have I already educated the person?  Is there someone I can send in my place?  If I can send someone in my place, can I get them up to speed in the morning? etc.

Projects:  What project deadlines are approaching?  Can the deadlines be shifted?  If the deadlines can’t be shifted, is there someone else that could fill in for me?  If someone could fill in for me, is it faster to explain it to them or just do it myself?  If the deadline can be shifted, who do I need to e-mail to inform?  Will they understand?  Have I shifted deadlines on them in the past?  If the deadline can’t be shifted, can I muster up the energy to work on it from home?  (This last question is more related to me being in denial about limiting myself which will come in future blogs.)

Vacation Time:  Do I have enough vacation hours left to have paid time off?  If I use vacation hours to take the day off, how many days does that leave me for the year?  If I use vacation hours, will I have enough days to cover myself when flairs occur later in the year?  If I use vacation hours, will I have enough days to go on the vacations I have planned?

Keep in mind, that all of these questions are running through my head and being answered in my head all while battling through stomach cramps so severe you think that someone is stabbing you in the gut with a bunch of knives.  This is all going through your head, with your stomach so extended that you appear 6 months pregnant and your stomach is hard as a rock so you hope that one of the knives stabbing you punctures your gut to let out some of the pressure.  All of this is going through your head while you are trying not to vomit and worrying about how long you might vomit for if you start.  All of this is going through your head while you are wondering when you might be able to eat again.  All of this is going through your head while you realize that life will never be the same again.

So the next time you have the flu, a stomach virus, or any ailment which requires you to call of work, think about the stress you go through with making the call.  Now imagine having that stress at least 2 times per month.  Or in my current flair, I’ve had to make this judgment call at least 6 times over the past 3 weeks.  You worry about your credibility remaining in tact, you worry about continuing to receive the projects you enjoy, you worry about whispers behind your back, you worry about all of these.  You worry about all of these sometimes more than worrying about when you might be able to eat again.

All of this is just a “normal” part of living a life with Gastroparesis.  Sure some days are better than others, but the lows are really low and are why we MUST find a cure and treatment options for this life.

So I spent today rotating between my bed and the couch with my faithful dog by my side to guard me from the GP elves that were trying to take over the house to liter it with ginger ale cans, tea cups, socks, and slippers!

~Millie

Super Bowl Sunday

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 3, 2013
Posted in: Gastroparesis, health, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , , . 5 Comments

Super Bowl Sunday.  It is probably the only day of the year that Americans could potentially eat more than they do on Thanksgiving.  The key difference:  there is nothing remotely healthy about Super Bowl Sunday foods.  The day is full of pizza, hoagies, fried buffalo wings, fatty dips, chips, and you name it.  It spawns such creations as the photo I found below:

 super-bowl-food-stadiums-4piximus

 Early on in my Gastroparesis diagnosis, I would become really depressed about missing such foods.  However, now it is really easy to stay away from it all.  Except for the deliciousness that is buffalo chicken dip.  Every time I see it, I feel like I am in a scene in a movie where there is a person standing by it that only I can see.  The person is motioning with his finger for me to come over.  He is saying, “Just one bite.  …  It’s so good.  …  It won’t make you feel that bad.”  Then…poof…in a cloud of smoke he is gone.  (I assume back to the hellacious world from which he came.  Maybe he was sent by the GP elves who like to take over the house.  See… https://adventureswithgastroparesis.com/2013/01/30/the-first-post/)

Except for my Achilles heel of buffalo chicken dip, when I look at party food I don’t see the food any more.  I see a trip to the emergency room and an IV in my arm.  You reach a certain point in your Gastroparesis diagnosis where you are no longer in denial that you can have “just a little bit” or “it won’t kill me”.  You’ve spent enough time doubled over in pain, vomiting for days, and laying in hospital beds with IVs in your arm to know that “just a little bit” isn’t worth all of that.  Sure, all GPers have their moments of weakness and give in.  Who wouldn’t?  However, the more times you give in and go through the cycle the easier it is to stand firm.  This is why I will be taking my smoothies and a private stash of Greek Yogurt to the Super Bowl party I will be attending.  Below is a photo of my Super Bowl Sunday treats.  (Yes, this is an actual photo that I took.)

 Smoothies

 The food itself is the only part about Super Bowl Sunday that is stressful for a GPer.  The other stressful part is that inevitably you will meet new people.  I normally enjoy meeting new people, but it is difficult for a GPer to meet new people for the first time around food.  The new people will inevitable ask why you aren’t eating anything and will usually make a crack about you not needing to be on a “diet” and to go ahead and eat it.  (Gastroparesis is often misdiagnosed and treated as though you have an eating disorder.  More on this in future blogs.)  Most GPers are polite and try to casually back out of the conversation without blurting out “that hoagie will quite literally send me to the ER”.  Part of the reason we are so polite, is that we get tired of talking about it.  We get tired of explaining ourselves every time there is a social gathering involving food.  Stop and think for a moment of how many social gatherings occur around food and now imagine explaining to people over and over and over again why you are having the same food you did last time, why you have your own smoothie, etc.  GPers know that people mean well, but it does get tiresome.  It gets especially tiresome, when you do go out on a limb and explain Gastroparesis and it is followed with, have you tried x or have you tried z.  Again, you know the person is being polite, but it takes a great deal of self-restraint not to blurt out “don’t you think I’ve tried every possible thing under the sun so that I can eat?  Do you think I want to be malnourished?  Do you think that I enjoy this type of life? Do you think I enjoy paying for probiotics, digestive enzymes, prescription medicine, a medical massage therapist, acupuncturist, chiropractor, yoga instructor, a GI specialist, etc just so that IF I am lucky then I can eat 1 meal containing solid food in a day?! ”  (More on all of this in future blogs.)

So today I will go to my Super Bowl Party and will proudly drink my smoothies and eat my yogurt, knowing that I am surrounded by some of the best friends a girl could have.  Most of the people at this party have already been educated and I will do my best to educate the others and remind myself that they mean well and are only trying to help when they ask questions.  Except for that guy that will inevitably appear by the buffalo chicken dip.  Hopefully today, I can give him a good kick in the shins and then run for the hills!

~Millie

Come One, Come All & See the Girl with the Ever Expanding & Contracting Stomach!

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 2, 2013
Posted in: bloating, expanding waist, Gastroparesis, health, i'm not pregnant, Inspiration. Tagged: , , , , . 2 Comments

One of the strangest things that happens for those of us with Gastroparesis, is how quickly our waistline expands & contracts.  It is utterly amazing & is something that should truly place us in a side show at a carnival.  For me, this morning has been a prime example of this.

My day started off with running errands to prepare for the week ahead.  I put on my jeans and they fit fine, however by then end of 2 hours of running errands they felt like a vice and I fully expected the button to shoot off across the room.  It felt like I was in a magician’s box and was being sawed in half.  In just 2 short hours, I would estimate that my waist expanded by a solid 12″ (rest assured, this is NOT an exaggeration).

bloat2

My waistline started like the photo on the right and in 2 hours time it looked like the photo on the left.  (The above photo is not me, but a stock photo from on-line.  Although it is not an exaggeration of the difference 2 hours can make in a GPers waist line.)

This phenomena happens at minimum 3 days per week.  At first I thought that it was just me, but I have had several conversations with other GPers who experience the same issue.  The most embarrassing part is when your stomach expands so far as to look 3 months pregnant & are mistaken as such.  Hey….we have the morning sickness of a pregnant woman so why not look the part!  Hmmm…maybe I could park in the expectant mother parking at IKEA and save myself a some energy with the shorter walk to/from the door.

Sometimes in the same day, it will also contract back down to “normal” size.  This requires some planning for the work-day or for going out for the day to run errands.  As a GPer, you have to be extremely particular about the clothes you purchase to look professional at work.  Your day could start looking nice in a pair of slacks and a fitted shirt.  Then out of nowhere…..heeeerrrreeee it comes….the waistline is growing….and growing….and growing.  (Jack & his beanstalk have nothing on us!)  Now you are at work, looking like you purchased your clothes 2 sizes to small and are pulling and tugging trying to adjust.

For me, the worst example of this would be the following.  I knew I was running a risk when I purchased a skirt that was already on the short side of appropriate for an office.  I wore it anyway, after all what is the worst that could happen?  Well, I should have known better than to ask that question.  My stomach started to expand and by the end of the day it was taking a significant amount of material to get over my GP pregnant looking belly.  This in turn caused the skirt to get shorter and by the end of the day the skirt was barely covering my bum.  Fortunately, I was able to hide in my desk the remainder of the day!

I have now decided to stick to mid-length dresses at work.  Slacks don’t have enough expand/contract room.  Short skirts are out for obvious reasons, so the answer is mid-length dresses that you hope don’t look too much like a maternity dress!

~Millie

Spinning Like a Top

Posted by Mildred Jane on February 2, 2013
Posted in: Energy, Gastroparesis, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a comment

Top

We’ve all been there (Gastroparesis or not); we get dizzy and start to spin.  Everything gets blurry and moves in and out, it starts to make you feel nauseous.  It is a helpless and frustrating feeling.  You don’t know when you’ll stop spinning, you just hope that it is soon.  Today, the dizzy spell started for me….on my way home in rush hour traffic.

With Gastroparesis the dizzy spells happen quite frequently.  It’s really not all that surprising when you stop and think about it.  We can’t eat “normally” and are lucky if we can handle solid food once per day.  This makes it difficult to meet the nutritional needs of your body and it is extremely easy to become malnourished.  Hence, the frequent dizzy spells.

When your body can’t digest food properly, it means that you no longer eat food for enjoyment, flavor, or socializing.  You merely find ways to force yourself to intake the minimum daily nutritional requirements of your body.  Did I mention that this is done while avoiding a plethora of food?  (More to come on food limitations in future blogs.)

My current method of forcing (yes, forcing) nutrients into my body is through custom made protein smoothies, Greek yogurt, and coffee.  I refuse to give up my coffee even though I know it is trying to kill me.  GP has taken so much from me that I refuse to let it have my morning cup of Joe!

This means that every Monday – Friday I have the EXACT same “food” intake.  Yes, every Monday…Tuesday…Wednesday…Thursday… …Friday…every week…every month…it is the same exact same food at the same bat time on the same bat station.  I start off every day at 7 am with a cup of Greek yogurt for its 15 grams of protein.  At 9:00, I venture for a slight walk across the building for my morning cup of coffee and gossip.  Then at 10:30 it’s a custom protein smoothie containing:  tofu (protein), frozen organic berries (all sorts of fun stuff), orange juice (calcium), spinach (more fun stuff), peanut butter (more protein).  Around 2:00 it’s time to follow that smoothie up with…you guessed it! Another smoothie!  This time it’s a thrilling blend of:  coconut water (potassium), oatmeal, more frozen berries, honey, and hemp protein powder.  Yes, hemp protein powder.  My experiment with whey protein powder almost sent me to the emergency room for severe stomach cramping.  I may have avoided the hospital, but it did result in non-stop vomiting, which led to not eating for a week which led to an IV to refuel.  (More on IVs in future blogs.)  For dinner it is usual some stand-by recipe involving various combinations of rice, chicken, turkey, noodles, and if I am lucky…some beef.

As you can see, experimentation with food is not advisable.  Experimentation only occurs on the weekend when I can allow proper recovery time if something goes awry.  Experimentation only occurs when I am close to home and know that I have my comfy bed to curl up in, my guard dog to try to cheer me up, and my amazing boyfriend to make sure the GP elves have restocked the ginger ale!

~Millie