The past few days have been a bit frustrating.  It is feeling like my Gastroparesis is flairing back up again.  I’m not sure if it is the weather, the fact that I have strayed somewhat from my eating plan (curse you ice cream!!!), or that I have been trying to stretch out my digestive enzymes/probiatics.  In reality it is probably the combination of all of the above.

So the past few days, I could feel my stomach having slight spasms.  Today, they were in full effect.  They were the spasms that you feel as soon as you put a morsel of food in your mouth.  You know that it has barely made it to your stomach and then you feel it start.  It’s like there is now a washing machine in your belly complete with the sound effects.  You feel it ripple down from the top of your stomach to the bottom and back up again.  I swear you can even see it.

As the spasms were happening, I tried to continue to focus on the positive.  I tried to focus on the fact that these spasms no longer happen every day.  I tried to focus on the fact that I haven’t vomited for months.  I tried to focus on the fact that I haven’t had a smoothie in a long time.  I tried to focus on anything but the rippling going up and down my belly.

The spasms are now subsiding, but I am viewing them and my extreme fatigue as a huge wake up call.  It is a reminder that I have to stay on a strict schedule and a strict wellness plan.  It is a reminder that I will never be “normal”.  It is a reminder of how bad things really were.  It is a reminder that I can never fully run away from that.  It is a reminder of a lot of things.

Now I just need to keep reminding myself to focus on the positive and not spiral into the sea of negative that these flair ups can create.

~Millie