The past few days have been a bit frustrating. It is feeling like my Gastroparesis is flairing back up again. I’m not sure if it is the weather, the fact that I have strayed somewhat from my eating plan (curse you ice cream!!!), or that I have been trying to stretch out my digestive enzymes/probiatics. In reality it is probably the combination of all of the above.
So the past few days, I could feel my stomach having slight spasms. Today, they were in full effect. They were the spasms that you feel as soon as you put a morsel of food in your mouth. You know that it has barely made it to your stomach and then you feel it start. It’s like there is now a washing machine in your belly complete with the sound effects. You feel it ripple down from the top of your stomach to the bottom and back up again. I swear you can even see it.
As the spasms were happening, I tried to continue to focus on the positive. I tried to focus on the fact that these spasms no longer happen every day. I tried to focus on the fact that I haven’t vomited for months. I tried to focus on the fact that I haven’t had a smoothie in a long time. I tried to focus on anything but the rippling going up and down my belly.
The spasms are now subsiding, but I am viewing them and my extreme fatigue as a huge wake up call. It is a reminder that I have to stay on a strict schedule and a strict wellness plan. It is a reminder that I will never be “normal”. It is a reminder of how bad things really were. It is a reminder that I can never fully run away from that. It is a reminder of a lot of things.
Now I just need to keep reminding myself to focus on the positive and not spiral into the sea of negative that these flair ups can create.
Sorry to hear about the spasms… I have had some digestive problems this week due to a stressful job interview and some other personal family matters… but you are right… it’s frustrating that you can go through these short “remission” times and then all of a sudden… WHAM-O! Like you said, you remember that your life isn’t “normal” and if you stray too long away from your diet, well, you end up suffering with a vengeance! I hope you feel better soon (and I also wonder if weather has something to do with it)! 🙂
Oh no….muscle spasms are the worst. I’ll be writing more about them again today.