The past few days have been a bit frustrating. It is feeling like my Gastroparesis is flairing back up again. I’m not sure if it is the weather, the fact that I have strayed somewhat from my eating plan (curse you ice cream!!!), or that I have been trying to stretch out my digestive enzymes/probiatics. In reality it is probably the combination of all of the above.
So the past few days, I could feel my stomach having slight spasms. Today, they were in full effect. They were the spasms that you feel as soon as you put a morsel of food in your mouth. You know that it has barely made it to your stomach and then you feel it start. It’s like there is now a washing machine in your belly complete with the sound effects. You feel it ripple down from the top of your stomach to the bottom and back up again. I swear you can even see it.
As the spasms were happening, I tried to continue to focus on the positive. I tried to focus on the fact that these spasms no longer happen every day. I tried to focus on the fact that I haven’t vomited for months. I tried to focus on the fact that I haven’t had a smoothie in a long time. I tried to focus on anything but the rippling going up and down my belly.
The spasms are now subsiding, but I am viewing them and my extreme fatigue as a huge wake up call. It is a reminder that I have to stay on a strict schedule and a strict wellness plan. It is a reminder that I will never be “normal”. It is a reminder of how bad things really were. It is a reminder that I can never fully run away from that. It is a reminder of a lot of things.
Now I just need to keep reminding myself to focus on the positive and not spiral into the sea of negative that these flair ups can create.