Yesterday I was really wanting a grilled cheese sandwich but did not want to stray from Gluten-Free April.  In the past I have tried the gluten-free bread contained at grocery stores and have not been impressed.  I knew that the internet was a great resource so I focused my mind on finding a gluten-free bread to bake.

Fortunately, I found a recipe which received rave reviews so I was willing to spend the money on ingredients in order to try it.  Yesterday morning I drove around town and collected all 5 of the necessary flours as well as additional ingredients.  (Fortunately, I live in a major city which makes this task easier.  I also live near a local health food co-op which makes this task even easier yet.)  As I started filling my basket with ingredients I was becoming filled with delight.  Would I be able to have grilled cheese?  Would I be able to take bread camping so that I could have a small sandwich?  Would I be able to take a sandwich through airport security so that I could have a snack?  Would I have the discipline to measure the ingredients exactly so that I didn’t mess it up?  (This was EXTREMELY clear on the bread recipe and I have a talent for eye-balling my measurements.)

I answered YES to all of the above questions and proceeding to walk to the check out (getting distracted by strawberry plants along the way).  As the ingredients were being scanned, I saw the total on the cash register growing and growing and growing.  My goodness this was going to be an expensive loaf of bread!!  I started to have buyer’s remorse because I also knew how much acupuncture, supplements, IVs, etc cost.  However, the remorse was short lived as my boyfriend saw the look on my face.  He gave me a hug and said “It’s start up costs.  You’ll get much more than 1 loaf of broad out of this.  It’s also an investment in your future health.  With the exception of the non-super Vitamin D super pill, gluten-free has been giving you more energy and less nausea.”  He saw the smile come back onto my face and the pep back in my step, so he felt the need to add “you still have to be calculated with your measurements so you don’t waste a batch.”  (We like to jab at each other, so I took it in stride!)

We got home from the store and I began ever so carefully measuring my ingredients.  I leveled the measuring cups off with a fork and pretended that I was a combination of a cooking show host or a mad scientist.  When it came time to stir the dry and wet ingredients together, I had to call in my assistant to stir.  I didn’t want to use all of my precious energy on stirring the bread dough because it was rough!  At this point I was thinking to myself, “If people only knew what we went through to try to stay semi-normal and what we would do for a sandwich.”  This was followed with the thought, “That’s right.  They can know what we go through for a sandwich because I’ll be writing about it in my blog.”

This blog has been such a source of frustration release for me.  I felt like people really didn’t understand what life was like with Gastroparesis.  Then one day it dawned on me:  how could they understand?  How could they understand if no one talked about the craziness of our daily lives publicly?

Sorry, I digress (much like being distracted by the strawberry plants in the store).  The bread was a HUGE success.  It was soft, moist, and delicious.  It wasn’t the same as Wonderbread, but it had much more flavor.  I actually think it was better.  It didn’t survive the grilled cheese as well as I had hoped, but it will be great to taking camping and make sandwiches!

~Millie

The bread recipe can be found here:  http://www.nourishingmeals.com/2009/04/best-gluten-free-vegan-sandwich-bread.html?m=1

Now I am on the hunt for a cupcake/icing recipe!